Donating blood in Scotland   

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A wealthy Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, in appreciation for giving his blood, the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and $50,000 dollars.

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.

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After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Black Magic chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before.

He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money ... but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates."

To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins."

supplied by past member Don Carpenter

How to dig your tomato bed…

Aside

An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
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Love, Vinnie Continue reading How to dig your tomato bed…

What turns you on?

Aside

Wife gets naked and asks hubby,

'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

Hubby looks her up and down and replies,

'Your sense of humour!

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